Congratulations on your engagement!

Planning your wedding is an incredibly exciting time, however it can get a little overwhelming, right? Questions of do I have to invite my cousin I never see? Do I need to incorporate all of those “traditional” elements? It can be a lot, so we want to make it a little easier for you!

Throughout this guide we have lifted the veil, answering some of the most common and not so common questions surrounding weddings, as well as some helpful advice to dispel any misconceptions about what a wedding “must have”.

TRADITIONS

Do we need to get ready separately?

Absolutely not.

Seeing each other before the ceremony won’t take away from that moment, in fact a lot of couples are opting for getting ready together or doing a “first look” before the ceremony to share in that moment privately.

Spend the night before together, have a relaxed breakfast with your bridal party and celebrate the occasion together. One of the most common things couples say upon reflection of their big day is, “I wish we got to spend more time together on the day, we had to wait all day to see each other”.

Your wedding day is about you as a couple, spend as much time together as you would like to!

WALKING DOWN THE AISLE

This is another component that sometimes gets done a certain way because couples feel like that’s how it’s done, but it doesn’t have to be!

If you want your parents to walk you down the aisle, incredible! If you want no one to walk you down the aisle, also amazing! If you want to walk down together, absolutely go for it!

How you enter your ceremony is entirely up to you, do something that makes you both comfortable and feels authentic to you. And if that means no one walks down an aisle then that is also absolutely fine!

CREATE YOUR OWN RULES, IT’S YOUR DAY!

Our biggest piece of advice, and we cannot stress this enough, is you do not have to do anything you don’t want to on your wedding day, it is your day!

Realistically, the only thing you “must do”, is say your vows and sign the paperwork, the rest of the day can be however you want it to be. It is easy to fall into a loop of “We must do... we must have...” because it’s a wedding, but if those elements cause you stress, give you the ick, or just don’t feel true to who you both are, get rid of them.

Your wedding day is a celebration of love and commitment, trust us when we say no one will care if they’re not leaving with a bag of sugared almonds…

BUDGET

DO YOU REALLY HAVE TIME TO DIY?

One of the biggest misconceptions is that doing everything yourself is easier/cheaper. On average it takes approximately 250-500 hours to plan a wedding, which on top of work and life, is a lot…It can also make the experience quite overwhelming and stressful. Time is money, so it’s important to figure out if you actually have the time, or whether it is worth investing in a planner or coordinator (trust us, it is).

THE WEDDING TAX

We’ve all heard of this, the assumption that vendors hike up their prices as soon as the word wedding is mentioned. It’s the same product and the same amount of work right? Wrong. The prices vendors charge reflect the extra work that goes into creating something bespoke for your day. Cake makers are blocking out most of, if not a whole day to deliver your cake/make sure it is as fresh as possible on the day, whilst also spending multiple days making and decorating it, florists are pre-ordering and sourcing specific flowers rather than seasonal options, and then spending days before the actual wedding prepping everything, which requires paying staff labour etc. As with anything, you get what you pay for, and you are paying for extra services and assurances from your vendors, as well as their expertise.

IT’S ALL INCLUDED, RIGHT?

Make sure you check with your venue and all vendors for hidden costs. Upfront, it might seem like you’re getting an absolute bargain, but after you’ve signed on the dotted line you may start to see some things you hadn’t factored in. Look for things like bump-in/out costs being included, delivery fees, damage waivers, security bonds etc, and factor an extra 20% into your budget to cover these and any incidental expenses.

VENDORS

HOW DO I CHOOSE?

Choosing vendors really comes down to what is most important to you on your wedding day. Are you big foodies who want their guests to have an incredible dining experience? Do you want stunning photos and video to commemorate your day? Choose 3 things that are the most important to you, and budget accordingly. Who will add the most value to your day?

OK, BUT THEN WHO DO I CHOOSE?

Choose people who align with your values and your style. Don’t choose vendors based on likes or follows, look at the work they do, take a deep dive into their Google reviews, and organise to meet them in person before deciding. Your wedding will feel more like you if you work with people who “get” you and understand your vision.

THE UNSUNG HEROES

Underrated vendors who will have a big impact on your day are planners/coordinators, a good, charismatic MC, a celebrant who really understands you and good entertainment. These are the people who capture the vibe and make sure it flows through the day. These are the people who are mostly working behind the scenes (and a little front and centre), to give you the day you have dreamed of. Planners/Coordinators and Celebrants will be the people who advocate for you, check in throughout the day to make sure you’re ok, not too overwhelmed, and can help with all of the little details.

GUESTS

DO I HAVE TO INVITE MY MUMS UNCLES SISTER-IN-LAW?

In short, no. Think about the people you genuinely care about/want to celebrate with you. Who will make your day memorable? If you haven’t spoken to them in several months, chances are you probably wont after your wedding. You don’t HAVE to invite anyone you don’t want there, and you also don’t have to give guests plus one’s.

DRESS CODE

Most weddings have a dress code, whether it’s cocktail attire, black tie, or smart casual. However, you may want something a little more specific (everyone in black/white). All of these are completely fine, you can outline these expectations in your invitation. But be prepared, while most guests will accept and respect your wishes, some may completely ignore them.

BRIDAL PARTY

TO MATCH OR NOT TO MATCH?

Gone are the days of having a matching wedding party (or having one at all). Like everything else with your wedding, who you have standing next to you is entirely up to you. If you want everyone to match, that’s your call, and if not that’s also fine. If you want one person or seven, also your call, and if your partner wants a different number of people, that is also a-ok. There are no rules around a wedding party, just make sure you choose two witnesses (who btw don’t need to be wedding party members) to sign everything and make it official.

THE BOTTOM LINE

One of the most common questions surrounding wedding parties is who pays? If you want your wedding party to wear specific things (especially ones they will likely never wear again), or look a certain way, then you should be paying for this. If you are happy for them to wear whatever they would like to, then you don’t necessarily have to pay. However, keep in mind that this is your wedding, and your expectations should not mean making assumptions about your friends financial situations, or putting them in debt to be part of everything. Remember why you want these people standing next to you, who they are and what they mean to you.